I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
