something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
