ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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