WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
