with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you would pick up someone in the library
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize