the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
