we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
