No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
