and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize