how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
