just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize