if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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