it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Randomize
