dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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