Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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