took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
