I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just googled if crying burns calories
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
