Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
