In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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