We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
