These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
