it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
