Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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