New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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