you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
