More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
