I'm drive I can fine osifer
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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