How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
