We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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