You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
