no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You made out with two different species that night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
