i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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