if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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