Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
