apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
