Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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