She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
