If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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