fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
