I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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