he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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