some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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