see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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