Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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