No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
