This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
