Christians are straight up FREAKS
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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