if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
