My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
