i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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