just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
