its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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