I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
