Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Your dad touched me again.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
