dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
