Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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