On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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