there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
