So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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