Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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