Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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