Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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