Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
