mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
