i don't like sucking hair
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
