I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
