He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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