Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
