I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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