my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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