Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This baby is an asshole
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
