Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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