Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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