i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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