I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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